You Know You're An Adventure Gamer If...
A list of check points and criteria to make sure you know if you're an adventure game, compiled by the Adventure Game Studio community.
1) The first thing you do when you enter a room is check the wastebasket
2) You don’t have conversations, you have "dialog trees"
3) When the teacher asks you to do something, you say "I’m sorry, I cant do that here"
4) You've ever tried to pry a piece of bubble gum off the floor with a crowbar
5) While skipping class, you get caught by the principal, and when he asks you what you're doing, you say, " I’m selling these fine leather jackets"
6) You've played all the "Myst" games...
7) In a row... In one day.
9) You find nothing wrong with carrying around an 8 foot pole in your pants.
10) You've ever 'checked your inventory' in public
11) you have a very liberal view of 'borrowing'
12) You've ever challenged a person to insult swordfighting at the bike rack after school
13) xyzzy
14) the sole research you did for your history project on the knights of the templars was to play the first broken sword game....
15) you reply and add more points to 'You know you're an adventure gamer if...' threads
16) You dress up in a wizards cloak and carry items in your hat. (Guilty)
17) You try to ask the same question over and over again
18) You think that people will just stand there permenently ready to talk to you.
19) You have an arch-nemesis either called LeChuck or Sordid.
20) You believe if you use this item with that wall and give this object to the guard over there you can get to the queen.
21) You don't have methodical thoughts, you think in formulas. eg Give Excuse Note to Teacher. (Guilty)
22) You can take anything safely so long as noone notices.
23) You always have a use for it afterwards.
24) Doors are always locked and you'll be damned if you're gonna balance a biscuit on your head so the duck will give you the key.
25) You have a GUI follow you around all day
26) When doing some DIY you say, "No, these two things don't seem to work together"
27) You consider anyone who has ever played (never mind liked) anything other than an adventure game to be unworthy of even your disgusted sneer.
28) Everything you own has a noun label attached to it
29) Whenever you see a bird's nest, you stop to wonder if it's a puzzle
30) Eerie graveyards always make you check your pockets for a shovel
31) You don't even question whether you can fit a shovel in there in the first place.
32) You see a cursor guiding your every move.
33) Your gravestone rhymes
34) After talking to someone, you run around to see if anything has changed.
35) You wear the same outfit for days and days
36)You can travel all across the an imaginary country in one day
37)Whenever you read a book or watch a movie, you think it should be more non-linear
38) You expect your death anytime, anywhere, anyhow - especially as the result of interacting with seamingly harmless objects
39) When it occurs, Death will prompt you telling that you're dead and thank you for living.
40) He'll also ask you if you want to be resurrected, reincarnated or reach nirvana.
41) You expect the soundtrack to swell as you do something important, like handing in your English paper or step off the bus.
42) people keep downloading you.
43) This white hand keep "touching" you!
44) After you've done something really stupid you reach for the restart button.
45) You take all your naps in a closet.
46) When you die, you are able to load a saved game.
47) you're in a deep philosiphical talk with your friends, and you outline your belief in "the end" - and how it usually comes way too soon, and is pretty disapointing when it does
48) You HATE having to use a walkthru or get a hint, and feel like junk after you do.
49) It scares you to walk narrow staircases.
50) when you fall, you hear, "*insert King's Quest falling noise here*"
51) you like reading the manual.
52) The scratches on your armoire look suspiciously like a theif's mark.
53) You refer everything that is largest, longest, tallest etc. as second largest, longest, tallest etc.
54) You say "I'm (name here), be prepare to die!" when you want to challenge anyone in Insult-swordfighting.
55) You go around and ask people if they want to join your crew.
56) You use a walkthrough to get through your life!
57) Say phrases like : "I don't think he'd like that" or "I can't reach it" or "I don't wanna carry that around with me" aloud to yourself.
58) If you don't find the solution to your problem the time won't pass.
59) You keep distracting people and stealing their stuff
60) You carry loads of different stuff around and try putting everything together with everything else and see if it works.
61) You've heard of Ron Gilbert and you are surprised when you find people who haven't.
62) When you're reading a map you're surprised when you can't point at a location and be suddenly transported there.
63) When you talk, the text of what you are saying hovers above your head.
64) You refer to earlier events in terms of 'Acts' or 'Parts'.
65) You never have to eat any food, and can walk back and forth across huge landscapes or cities for hours on end without getting tired at all.
66) You expect to hear a twinkly noise whenever you pick something up and think in terms of 'points'.
67) When you sneak up on someone, you say something aloud just two feet from him, yet he seems to hear nothing.
67) The person you're trying to ring's number begins with 555
68) You feel all pixelated
69) Everywhere you are feels lonely, with maybe only one other person who stands motionless, apart from maybe blinking, or taking a drag on a cigerette once every few minutes.
70) Cheap MIDI music seems to follow you around the place.
71) You have a bag that turns into a GUI when you click on it.
72) You're never without your Universal Sharp Object.
73) Any time you do something that doesn't have an immediate noticeable result, you see it as a failed interaction.
74) You say the word 'examine' at times where everybody else would have said 'look'.
75) When faced with your password prompt at work, you get the urge to type in rude words.
76) You think MacGyver is realistic.
77) You know the real meaning of "Look big man".
78) You say descriptions of objects to yourself
79) You can say the same sentence to someone and they won't get annoyed
80) When you do say something, you have a universal talking cycle for everything you say.
81) "Speech" to you is words appearing above your head.
82) People don't get suspicious when you bring a ladder from under your hat.
83) People don't get suspicious when you put it back in again.
84) "Completing the game" is your destiny
85) You don't learn from your mistakes. Sure, you can touch that electric wire, you just need rubber gloves to continue.
86) Guybrush Threepwood is a close friend of yours.
87) The key to your front door is in the same room
88) When you try and talk, a cheap American high pitched voice over takes-over
89) You pause between every sentance
90) You find yourself bending over to pick up an object in a full two frames
91) When fighting, your retorts to your opponent's insults always rhyme.
92) you had to TYPE what you wanted the character to do.
93) you can carry an inummerable amount of objects without any visible sign of them on your person
94) you play a game and beat it, and then play it again as if you have no idea what you're doing.
95) You can only USE, LOOK and TALK TO objects.
96) Your index finger permenantly has a blister.
97) When faced with a giant, maneating monster and you were armed with two large swords you would use the swords to whittle a female monster out of soap and sneak past it.
98) You think anything can be achieved by bribery (wow, adventure games really are educational )
99) You hate porcelin.
100) You wait patiently for the 99th post in a "You know you're an adventure gamer if..." thread and slip in a very quick 100th with a yell of triumph.
101) you collect the boxes of your favorite games, even if it means rebuying the games you already have just for them.
102) You can remember every single insult and its appropriate retort from 'The Secret Of Monkey Island' and 'The Curse Of Monkey Island'.
103) Even worse, you have memorised the 'Monkey Kombat' insults and retorts from when you played 'Escape From Monkey Island'.
104) Your favourite CD is either the Sam & Max soundtrack, or the Gone Jackals' 'Bone To Pick' (music from Full Throttle).
105) You get irritated on finding there are objects in the world that serve no purpose and complain of poor design by the "creator"
106) You can't grow a beard
107) You can hold your breath for 10 min.
108) You never get any exericse, because you always seem to be in a "no jumping or running zone"
109) You have no fear of death, provided you've saved recently.
110) You die intentionally just to see what happens.
111) you can fit ridiculous garugantuan objects in your pocket (e.g. a ladder)
112) You swear your dog said 'LeChuck'.
113) A fortune teller says that you will die at a place where you must go but what really happens is you fall in coma, somebody locks you in a crypt thinking you were dead but you get's out of there somehow.
114) When you want to pick something up, sometimes you accidentaly talk to it instead.
115) You say what you think of objects out loud.
116) You are dead, do you want to: Restart, Restore, QUIT
117) You smell of beetroot.
118) You are impressed with how realistic the graphics of the real world are.
119) You go up to random women and give apples to them.
120) You are NOT RPGCreator
121) When you go to the farm you tell all the cows what they fight like.
122) Your lifes ambition is to make an adventure game.
123) You can hum the MI theme tune perfectly.
124) You fight like a dairy farmer.
125) You smell of beetr-oh, I've already said that.
126) You think that something's wrong everytime you find an unlocked door
127) Every night you pray to Jesus Chris
128) When you meet a chick with nice looking pixels, you first use your hand on her body to "pick her up"
129) ...and often in three or four different intimate places
130) And when she slaps you and calls you names, you laugh out loud because "the creators" actually anticipated you'd do that
131) You didn't flinch one second over my 'nice pixels' joke
132) You never think twice over what to say to someone, because you can always repeat the exact same conversation and try a different wording.
133) The missus is unsatisfied in the sack because you hate hunting for hotspots.
134) You name your fish Sushi
135) You drop your fish in the sink
136) if you carry a guys brush around all the time
137) If you use Deluxe paint II
138) If you know who Yahtzee is
139) if you keep hearing, insert disk 2 here.
140) If you know who Chris Jones is
141) If you dont believe in Glumol
142) If you have a pet rabbit and Dog and named them Sam n Max
143) If you use AGS
144) If you carry a ladder around
145) If you carry a wing and say it belonged to Lechuck
146) If you think your a pirate
147) If you have too many friends called Wally and Elaine
148) If you eat at Diners Called Elaine
149) If your girlfriend's name is Elaine
150) If you have the hots for Elaine
151) If you scream F1 you change to a different body and a different room and have completely different inventory
152) If you hate Abandonware
153) If you tried to convert Doom into an adventure game
154) If you make an adventure game based on the Simpsons
155) If you actually participated in this thread. LOL
156) If you want to call you son Guybrush
157) Every time you go to bed, you don't see sheep, you see credits.
158) You sometimes lose control and find your body is doing things for you.
159) You don't have a birth certificate, you have a manual.
160) You wear white clothes, have an orangey coloured face and no talking animation.
161) Your key disappears when you unlocked a door.
162) When you are in a dead end, you try to combine things in your pocket, hoping to make a drill out of a paper clip and a coin.
163) When there is a 1' low fence blocking your route... it IS blocking your route.
164) After you have looked at something, you will turn yourself around to face a virtual camera and say a description of it.
165) When you realize you made a BIG mistake, you try to remember if you've saved recently.
166) You actually understand the above and laugh your ass off.
167) You know what CMI stands for.
168) You carry breath spray with you at all times.
169) You find yourself frequently saying things like "I ca'nt reach that." "I can't go there." or "I don't think that'll work."
170) Several times throughout the day, you mean to pick something up, but instead, you accidentally smooth your clothes and retie your boots.
171) Your daily attire consists of a red cape, boots, a green tunic, brown pants, and a sword.
172) You rip off Star Wars phrases, especially "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."
173) You think of people in terms of "sprites" or "objects".
174) You need to sneak into prison, so you try to distract the guard with a story about a fire in the kitchen.
175) You need to sneak into a prison...
176) You use the phrase "Look, a three-headed monkey" very often and about 80 % of all the chances you succesfully make others turn around because of that phrase.
177) If you havent done anything for a minute, you put your hands on your hips and tap your foot. Unless your name is Bernard, inwhich case you pick your nose.
178) You are a caffeine addict and dislike sleep.
179) You are a piece of claymation, or you are video captured and painted over.
180) You are the most active being in the universe. Everyone else seems to do nothing at all.
181) Important items appear slightly brighter than everything else.
182) Time seems to be irrelevent, unless you live in Spielburg.
183) You find lame puns humorous.
184) You don't think twice when someone speaks in rhyme.
185) You wanna be a hero.
186) You find yourself franticically attempting to combine random objects, such as sponges and ducks, and using them on everything in a room in hopes that something, ANYTHING will happen.
187) You think Quake is for neandrethalls.
188) You can see how good the graphics in Zak McCracken are.
189) The sound of a human voice amazes you.
190) You speak like a badly dubbed film but in 2D with not many frames...an Anime, in fact.
191) You get annoyed when someone who just runs around killing people says tha they are having an adventure
192) You think that Henry's Cat is the epitome of efficient animation
193) You can spot that the voice-over actor is the same between two characters, even when the actor isn't famous
194) When making a list like this, you can't tell the difference between being an adventure game fan and actually being in an adventure game
195) You think that the number 193 is followed by 192... I mean its not as if you missed my post completely, Trap!
196) You can fly to Syria from France with no problem for money (or visas) at all, but when you get there you can't find $50 for a taxi...
197) You never have more than ten objects in any room of your house.
196) You want to make sweet sweet luv to m0ds (thanks, Bruised)
197) You think bluecups are sexual aids.
198) You point and click at everything
199) You always try to pick everyone expecting a sexual innuendo line
200) When you talk to someone and he doesn't know what you're asking you go out and come in again expecting he knows more; also you try giving him everything you carry
201) If you don't know what to do next, you've reach a dead end- there's a bug (in your life)
202) You really, really want to know what the real Secret Of Monkey Island is. (And spend most of your time trying to figuring it out)
203) You travel to New Orleans and get disappointed when everybody seems to know nothing about the famous "Voodoo Murders", and no one's ever heard about Dr John or the Gedde family.
204) You get rejected from the university for your crazy theory about Ludwig II of Bavaria being a werewolf.
205) You try talking to every skeleton you find, just in case it'll turn out to be Murray.
206) You really don't like the world you live in, it'd be better if it were only two dimensions, instead of three.
207) You flip all the lightswitches in the house off and on in different combinations to see if anything happens.
208) If you get stuck in life, you look up a walkthrough.
209) You put a block of tofu over your head.
210) You say your thoughts out loud.
211) You start a thread on the AGS forums regarding being an adventure gamer
212) You're jealous because you didn't do it first
213) You search the internet for more "You know you're an adventure gamer if"s to post
214) You can't think of anything good, so you post something lame like this
215) You forced your girlfriend to listen to you trying to explain why adventure games have played such an important part in your life
216) You're amused at the pun of a game playing a part in your life
217) You go back and edit your post to put open lines between each point
218) You're me
219) You try pick up and talk to the moon more than once
220) Your house doesn't appear big enough to contain all the rooms that are in it
221) You found something earlier in the posts that you were going to say
222) You keep money behind posters
223) The lights fade before you enter another room
224) You can never find the thing you need most
225) People have to remind you of what you did in your last adventure
226) You have to keep asking people what it is you're supposed to be doing again
227) You have a friend that invents things
228) That friend gives you useless/broken inventions
229) You manage to fix/use them
230) You can afford to travel across the world in search for clues about the ancient mystery you've been dragged into, but you can't afford a sandwich in the shop next door.
231) You think drinking a 500000 glasses of beer won't make you drunk.
232) You spend the 9 months of your wife's pregnancy drafting up a birth gift for your kid - namely a partial walkthrough for the first two decades ...of Life!
233) You learn that most toilets don't work, especially the ones in private homes.
234) ...or maybe you just never ever ever need to go, which is really really scary when you think about it.
235) Whenever you encounter a place or room that doesn't have any concealed objects or passages, you wonder why it's there in the first place.
236) ...and most often, you end up checking it again to make sure.
237) The only thing that can get you really angry (even more so than porcelain) is gradients.
238) Any time you hear the words "glass-bottomed boat", you giggle.
239) You have no reflection
240) Your reflection is actually somebody that looks like you standing behind a hole in the wall
241) You've already had a bath this year
242) you play adventure games. (wel, no-one's done it yet.)
243) You think aiiiiiiiir is like a somthing somthing. Aiiiiir is like an I don't know.
244) You think Chris Jones is a weird, uncommon name but Larry Laffer, Guybrush Threepwood and Gabriel Knight are perfectly normal.
245) when you try and shoot someone all you do is point the gun at them to make them say somthing. both of you then forget the whole experience.
246) you can't have more than 10 objects in your bedroom!
247) youve ever dressed up as an adventure hero
248) all you could find was a fedora and a trench coat .. so you went as tex murphy
249) when your friends ask why you didnt show up to the costume party, you rememrk that you were there, your costume was the guy from myst...
250) the news of a Longest Journey 2 put you into an epeliptic shock (guilty)
251) Instead of Youch or Ouch you say Ah Pappapishu!
252) You can't do anything unless a giant Hand, Eye, or other large object tells you to.
253) You have the amazing ability to have Tea and No Tea at the same time.
254) You complain to the natural history mueseam because there are no 3 headed monkies.
255) This topic wasn't here the first time you looked
256) You enter a cave,watching out for creepy music,trolls, and hagatha
257) You ask everyone you meet the same questions in hopes of a unique response.
258) You want everyone to shake your hand.
259) Nobody ever actually wants to shake your hand.
260) When you do something important or noteworthy, you notice the world seems much more dynamic and high-resolution for a bit, but always goes back to normal.
261) You use Guybrush's "pick-up lines"
262) You try to make your own grog
263) You try to find Monkey Island on a map of the Carribean
264) You're the only one who can remember your name...
265) You don't go to the toilet for a few days.
266) You can only walk 4 different ways.
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